
*Note: Entirety of this blog post was written 12/14/24, at time of writing, I did not know of the devastation about to come to LA.
Hi! I’m finally ready to tell the story of how I have a new job, after having been job-less for the first time in 12+ years for a few months. How I made the choice I made despite having two nearly financially identical situations presented with very different pros and cons.
First, I need to step back and tell you, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an author. Part of this may have been influenced by being read to a lot, or by growing up one block from the library. But I was the kind of kid, who, as I grew, would then read to my sisters, and conscientiously read who the author was to them before beginning.
Also, I tell people I am on the 100-year plan a lot. I’ve had one or two ancestors who made it to 109, one of whom was still quilting at that age, though she could only see if the fabric was light or dark by then. I have some kind of odd faith I’ll be around for a ridiculously long time.
So. This layoff. In my previous blog post, I told you about it. Well, the whole world about it. This held some immediate benefits. People knew and therefore could reach out and help if they wanted. I had an offer from a recruiter friend to help, another friend sent interview tips, others kept eyes out, others promised to pray. And within about a day, far before I had time to really grieve my loss or any heart to look or care to look, I had two friends reach out with job ideas for me.
One was a friend working fully remotely for a company based on the East Coast. A financial company. The company I had worked for was in the retirement industry (financial in that sense) and her company had to do with fund administration. Both required a good deal of detail orientation. Both had CRM databases. Both included very specific processes where you can’t miss anything on the checklists because there can be serious consequences. I’d likely be a good fit.
Another was my friend Melanie at Mocha Momma’s (a café in the downtown Minneapolis Central Library that mentors urban youth and gives them job skills) – she asked me what my goals were for what came next. I told her I had a couple directions I could go – I could look for something more in line with my passions (publishing/ ministry/fashion/something creative) or – since unlikely I would find something to pay equal to what I’d made in the financial industry – I could stick with the financial industry which would better support my ability to create the 5-ish poetry chapbooks/books I’d like to publish (one a reprint) in the next couple years (completing by end of when I am 50). While she knew she could not pay what I’d been making or was looking for, she made an offer for me to do admin work for her part time 20 hours a week as a contractor until I found a new permanent position.
The month following my layoff was a whirlwind. I had 2 conferences (one out of state), an arts fest (out of state) and a book release to pull off. I had logistics to consider, performances to plan, and it turned out, I also needed time to recover from the surprising rejection of being let go without warning from the world which I had inhabited for near 13 years. I put off both inquiries, and declared I was not going to look for a job or make any decisions until after the book release since that first month was full enough.
I made a couple concessions. At the one friend’s request, I updated my resume a bit and sent it her way, and prior to my book release, I did a short phone screen with her company. After that, the wheels began to turn. They asked me to complete the application, and I again begged off to do so after the book release. The next week, I completed the application, and had an interview with the VP and manager, and the following week completed a short test to see how good I am at catching details under a time crunch. I looked for a job online for all of ½ hour during this time, but worked on the Project Manager online certificate course I was enrolled in some.
Somewhere in here, felt led to set aside one week to fully focus on poetry – I’d determined best time to do it was the week following Thanksgiving, ending 12/6. In the interview, they had intimated a hope that I could start early December but I said 12/9 would be the earliest I could. I then mourned the possibility of losing months of downtime on severance to work on poetry, and was grateful to have set aside that one week. I told Melanie then if they didn’t hire me to start then, I would start part-time with her then. Before that, I’d been too dog-tired to even consider saying yes to anything, but I was finally feeling ready.
Sunday of the week devoted to poetry, some friends who own a nonprofit brought up the idea of me working with them. First we were just discussing some arts involvement, but once they saw my resume they created a full-time position that included everything from curating arts events to overseeing staff in various programs, working with the website, overseeing social media and newsletters etc. I always say I like smaller companies and wearing a lot of hats, as it keeps me interested. I would have the chance to be helping programs that address food insecurity, human trafficking, people’s engagement with art and faith, etc. etc. And I negotiated them up to a rate & benefits that would rival (approximately) the expected financial company offer. Then, a little later than expected, came the other offer, with (thankfully) a little pillow of time before a new requested start date of 1/13/25.
I lost sleep, folks. This was anything but an easy choice. The key difference ended up being that the financial company was 100% remote and my friend had described as ‘work you can leave at work at the end of the day’, versus the ministry position that at best could only be 50% remote, requiring commute time, a less consistent schedule and a much larger mental load. The 100% remote situation – for the most part, has been what I’ve had these last years since 2020 when I’ve been able to put out all these projects – 2 musical EPs, 3 chapbooks and one full-length poetry collection. And it’s been hard, very hard to do, but possible.
Why do I feel so compelled to do these book projects published by age 50? Good question. When in my life have I had a 5-year plan before recently? Never. Is it because, despite my plans, I may not live the very long life I anticipate? Is it because my uncle Mike – a five-time slam poetry winner in Deep Ellum, TX – had his house burn down, destroying the book he wanted to get on Oprah’s list? Is it because my friend Jessa had just begun publishing her music and died too young? I dislike the rush, you know? I am something of a perfectionist, and in order to move forward on the schedule I am on, I have to forego some perfection, decide ‘done is better than perfect’ more often than I’d like to, miss out on pursuing publication in journals first or finding publication via established presses and sometimes not quite have the time to get some endorsements I might like to have. Maybe you get more raw, real honesty in these books if there is not time to over-edit and revise them, maybe that’s what you (maybe what you and I) need. I don’t have the answer.
I just know, when I discussed the job with my friends at the nonprofit over the phone, one of them said they felt led to ask me, “What is Christy made for? What is the ideal job for you?” And I told them I have always wanted to be an author, that I am a storyteller, that I see myself speaking and singing, making people laugh (and I should have added ‘and cry, and feel, discover our way together’). That I am a connector, I like to connect people to beauty, and themselves, and each other, and the God who loves them. And ultimately, I made the decision I made because the awesome responsibilities at their organization can be delegated to other people, but telling my stories/writing and publishing these particular poems is something only I can do, and I need to have margin so that I can do that. It’s not something I can delegate. So. I asked God for clarity when I set out here (i.e. “I know you don’t have to, but please…”) and I feel I received it, even though it felt crappy turning down a ministry position. For what it’s worth, I am now newly an Investor Services Associate and continuing to make poetry books/ chapbooks in my spare time. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.
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